{"id":129,"date":"2025-01-15T19:44:05","date_gmt":"2025-01-15T19:44:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/prank.ro\/blog\/liliputanul\/bancuri-cu-elevi\/"},"modified":"2025-01-15T19:44:05","modified_gmt":"2025-01-15T19:44:05","slug":"bancuri-cu-elevi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/prank.ro\/blog\/liliputanul\/bancuri-cu-elevi\/","title":{"rendered":"Bancuri cu elevi"},"content":{"rendered":"<div>\n<p><strong>Elevi<\/strong><br \/>\nProfesorul parcurge cu privirea catalogul. Popescu \u00eentreab\u0103 cu voce tare:<br \/>\n\u2013 Vreau s\u0103 v\u0103 \u00eentreb ceva, domnule profesor!<br \/>\n\u2013 Te rog, Popescule!<br \/>\n\u2013 Poate fi pedepsit cineva pentru un fapt pe care nu l-a s\u0103v\u00e2r\u015fit?<br \/>\n\u2013 Nu!<br \/>\n\u2013 Atunci, v\u0103 rog frumos, s\u0103 nu m\u0103 sanc\u0163iona\u0163i fiindc\u0103 nu mi-am \u00eenv\u0103\u0163at lec\u0163ia pe ziua de azi!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dilem\u0103 zoologic\u0103<\/strong><br \/>\nProfesorul de zoologie al unei \u015fcoli \u00eentreab\u0103 elevii:<br \/>\n\u2013 Cine din clas\u0103 poate s\u0103-mi spun\u0103 de ce sunt pe\u015ftii mu\u0163i?<br \/>\n\u00centreaga clas\u0103 tace.<br \/>\n\u2013 Hei, tu, cel de l\u00e2ng\u0103 u\u015f\u0103. Ai spus c\u0103 tat\u0103l t\u0103u este pescar de meserie. De ce sunt pe\u015ftii mu\u0163i?<br \/>\n\u2013 Cum de ce? \u00cencerca\u0163i dumneavoastr\u0103 s\u0103 v\u00e2r\u00e2\u0163i capul sub ap\u0103 \u015fi n-o s\u0103 pute\u0163i scoate un cuv\u00e2nt!<br \/>\n<strong>Scandal<\/strong><br \/>\n\u00centr-o \u015fcoal\u0103 se aude un zgomot teribil dintr-o clas\u0103. Directorul intr\u0103 \u00een clas\u0103 \u015fi vede \u00eengrozit cum toat\u0103 lumea \u0163ip\u0103, se bate, unii s-au urcat pe b\u0103nci. Directorul se repede la cel mai zgomotos \u015fi \u00eel d\u0103 afar\u0103 din sal\u0103. Se face dintr-odat\u0103 lini\u015fte.<br \/>\n\u2013 Unde este profesorul vostru?<br \/>\n\u2013 Tocmai l-a\u0163i dat afar\u0103\u2026<br \/>\n<strong>Napoleon<\/strong><br \/>\n\u2013 De ce a r\u0103mas celebru Napoleon? \u2013 \u00eentreab\u0103 profesoara.<br \/>\n\u2013 Fiindc\u0103 avea o memorie formidabil\u0103 \u2013 r\u0103spunse elevul.<br \/>\n\u2013 Po\u0163i fi mai clar?<br \/>\n\u2013 Da. Pe statuia sa scrie: \u201ePentru memoria lui Napoleon\u201d.<br \/>\n<strong>Centaurii<\/strong><br \/>\n\u2013 Copii, centaurii erau fiin\u0163e legendare, jum\u0103tate om, jum\u0103tate cal.<br \/>\n\u2013 Dar atunci ei unde dormeau, \u00een pat sau \u00een grajd?<br \/>\n<strong>Nodul gordian<\/strong><br \/>\n\u2013 Cum a dezlegat Alexandru cel Mare nodul gordian?<br \/>\n\u2013 L-a t\u0103iat cu sabia lui Damocles.<br \/>\n<strong>Legea lui Arhimede<\/strong><br \/>\n\u2013 Cum se enun\u0163\u0103 principiul lui Arhimede?<br \/>\n\u2013 Un corp scufundat \u00een ap\u0103 este \u00eempins de jos \u00een sus cu o for\u0163\u0103 de dou\u0103 ori mai mare dec\u00e2t cea cu care \u00eel ap\u0103s\u0103m noi pe individul respectiv.<br \/>\n<strong>Creier<\/strong><br \/>\n\u2013 C\u00e2nd vom \u00eenv\u0103\u0163a ceva despre creier? \u2013 \u00eentreab\u0103 un elev.<br \/>\n\u2013 Peste vreo dou\u0103 luni \u2013 r\u0103spunde profesorul. Acum avem altceva \u00een cap.<br \/>\n<strong>Din r\u0103zboi<\/strong><br \/>\nInvitat la \u015fcoal\u0103, generalul vorbe\u015fte copiilor despre eroismul osta\u015filor rom\u00e2ni \u00een 1944, \u00een luptele din p\u0103durea B\u0103neasa.<br \/>\n\u2013 \u00cen ziua de 15 august 1944 am b\u0103tut la nem\u0163i, de s-au c\u0103cat pe ei\u2026<br \/>\nProfesoara: Domnu\u2019 general, v\u0103 aud copii, fi\u0163i atent\u2026<br \/>\n\u2013 L\u0103sa\u0163i, tovar\u0103\u015fa s\u0103 \u015ftie copiii adev\u0103rul istoric! A doua zi nem\u0163ii s-au regrupat, tunuri, etc. \u015fi ne-au b\u0103tut, de ne-am c\u0103cat pe noi\u2026<br \/>\nProfesoara .:Domnu\u2019 general, copiii\u2026<br \/>\n-L\u0103sa\u0163i, tovar\u0103\u015fa, s\u0103 \u015ftie, etc.<br \/>\n\u00cen fine, dup\u0103 o s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2na a venit la noi p\u0103durarul \u015fi ne-a zis: Ia mai c\u0103ra\u0163i-v\u0103 de-aici, derbedeilor, c\u0103 mi-a\u0163i umplut p\u0103durea de c\u0103cat!<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<div>Profesorul parcurge cu privirea catalogul. Popescu \u00eentreab\u0103 cu voce tare:<\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-129","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-liliputanul"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/prank.ro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/129","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/prank.ro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/prank.ro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/prank.ro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/prank.ro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=129"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/prank.ro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/129\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/prank.ro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=129"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/prank.ro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=129"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/prank.ro\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=129"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}